#however. UGH! SHIT!!!!
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i hate how much i care about the stupid penumbra podcast and stupid idiot juno steel and peter nureyev. STOP!
#this podcast is horrible#wretched piece of media#however. UGH! SHIT!!!!#i can’t stand it to save my life and i cannot let go of it#crawling gnawing i am just like them i am so screwed
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gilear & hallariel could break up in episode one of junior year and fabian & fig being step-siblings would still be real to me. they’re going to be in their mid-twenties keeping each other sane at the extended family function no matter what happens.
#fig WILL take a smoke break & fabian will join only to immediately facetime the bad kids like: you guys would not BELIEVE this shit#fig faeth#fabian seacaster#fantasy high#dimension 20#oh to watch whatever goes down at the faeth-lomenelda-seacaster family function#not gonna act like this isn’t influence by chirp & squak acofaf it definitely is however i do want this for fig fabian so much it’d be fun#*influenced ugh#gilear faeth#hallariel seacaster#figfabian step-siblings#my beloveds
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Me realising I have to actually write my whole fic and not just little paragraphs in between with no context: Fuck
#I have everything planned out#but the first part is SO BORING UGH#i just want to dissect their relationship and professional lives#and write about their parallels and how they grow and change over the span of their time together#but I have to sit here and write about the fourth of July#i say this like i didnt plan out that scene and CHOOSE to write it#still#not liking it#However this is my attempt at starting a fic and actually finishing it#said fic just so happens to be long as shit and spans roughly 30-ish years#I do this to myself#and then have to audacity to complain#top gun#top gun maverick#top gun 1986#yes I know I'm writing fic for a military propaganda movie when I hate the military#and America#*sigh*#the things you give up for a hyperfixation#fanfiction#fanfic
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in my head this is how Divine Inspiration works
#cotl#my art#cotl lamb#cotl the one who waits#UGH i miss computer i miss being able to easily edit things😭#if you work with traditional mediums and want to make a comic with black speech bubbles and red text#my first and best piece of advice is: dont#my second piece of advice is#rather than try and do the red text first and then colour black in around it#colour in the whole speech bubble black#then use a paint marker/pen on top. i have a white paint marker so i let it dry and then coloured on top of that with red#do not recommend#anyways. i dont really think narinder would say 'lol idk' HOWEVER the image is funy to me#and also i definitely dont think he gives a shit about how these things affect mortals#i however. initially thought that 'demon possesses ur follower to accompany you into battle' would mean something like#like. they fight and can get KILLED. and run at anything that can aggro like a fucking diablo companion#so i avoided it my whole first playthrough and suffered a lot for it#i got stuck on kallamar and got really stressed about how my followers were dying faster than i could acquire new ones#and also now that i had a full set of doctrines i really regretted some of my choices bc they didnt pair up so well#so i started a new game and decided to be evil#and thats how i ended up fully filling out the folower forms! :]
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there is something about the way that dick approaches damian in Batman and Robin (2009) and the way bruce approaches damian in Batman and Robin (2011). where it's very similar: both are not exactly prepared for this, are frustrated with damian, doubt their own abilities to be what he needs but feel responsible anyway.
but it's different...in 2009, the responsibility is on dick to change, to gain damian's respect--which is how it should be, because dick is the adult and damian is the child (10 years old. that's a fourth grader) who is in his care. vs in 2011, the responsibility is more so on damian (the fourth grader) to change, to gain bruce's respect.
Batman and Robin (2009) #2
Dick: Who's gonna save him if we don't?
vs
Batman and Robin (2011) #2
Bruce: I'm afraid of what Damian could become without me around.
and
Batman and Robin (2009) #1
Damian: You can have my respect if you earn it, that's all I'm saying. You're not my father.
vs
Batman and Robin (2011) #4
Bruce: If you don't respect me, you won't ever respect yourself.
Damian: Do you respect me?
Bruce: If I can't trust you, I can't respect you.
screaming and dying and screaming forever
#two more notes. 1. i think this makes sense with bruce's parenting style. this is in character to the extreme#and its not his worst parenting and it's pretty realistic. However makes me insane when ppl talk about his good 2011 parenting ff#2. it also makes sense with damian's ultimate storyline being the racist 'wayne good vs al ghul bad' thing. ugh#makes sense ie i understand why its written that way and it sucks shit. fuck dc#damian al ghul#dick and damian#anti bruce wayne
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unlocking a new emotion I like to call “Dave Rage” in which I get so angry about the way Dave Filoni wrote/ writes Thrawn that i physically cannot stop talking abt it
#star wars#emmett rambles#thrawn#making a saw trap where dave filoni is stuck in a room and i make him read all the canon thrawn books#my boyfriend showed me an article in which Mr Filoni states that ‘Hera Syndulla is Thrawn’s greatest adversary’#now…#i love hera#HOWEVER#dave u cannot just be saying shit#ugh it makes my blood boil every time i think of it
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Coming out as a duck disliker 🫣 I’m sorry he’s mean
and you're allowed to feel that way dude :] u are not any less welcome to look at my 20 duck playlists or my art or animations muwah
#like u can feel however u want abt my boy go off#it does not bother me friend i know he is unpleasant and unpopular#the only thing i ask is like. do not talk shit abt him when ur reblogging my art i have almost blocked ppl for that before#nothing sours my mood faster than when people reblog my art of dog dad duo and go ugh! he's so mean to him! where's RG to protect that baby!
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#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags#cw personal#once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says#THEY don't#they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government??????????????#so there's still some kind of payment???#anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated#like will she take my insurance or not who's right here#anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now#why the hell is this so hard man#the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain#once again no one knows what they're talking about#like can y'all not communicate and figure this out?#AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds#and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover#*contracted#not retyping all of that#and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim#and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart#and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that>#UGH#like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles#the bureaucracy is INSANE#i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second#and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on'#uGH#literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times#like not on the phone after I hung up obvs
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Actually so evil of bg3 to have the emperor be referred to with it/its pronouns only to do the big reveal and make it a him again
#Not genuinely evil i am being dramatic etc. But sad to me#I do just hate the whole emperor reveal so much tho. He was a more interesting character before that#I still wasn't super compelled by it but thats ok. However. Ugh#In general the way bg3 does pronouns is not ideal imo like this is still a lot better than most games do it#But the fact that there is a they them option and no npc uses it#Only characters with non he/she pronouns are the two mindflayers (afaik?)#Its something for sure. Makes me think#Genuinely does make me wonder how Gender is in faerun.. Tell me more..#Everyone genders my character correctly but okay How do they know or even assume considering there doesn't seem to be#a precedent of gender neutral pronouns for other characters nor otherwise gender non-conforming characters#Yes i am thinking too much about it i know why it is the way it is. However. It is interesting to me#I like to think about this shit. Talk to me about gender in this fantasy world pspsps video game#Txt#No shade to omeluum my favorite it its mindflayer ever. U know what i mean
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why are tf2 players either extremely fun and wonderful freaks OR the most bigoted people you've ever had the displeasure of crossing paths with
#i say freak with literally so much love in my heart#cause thats what i am#like sorry but we cant be in love with these characters and be normal look at the art#i love love love these people#the other type however#there are some matches that i leave before the time is up cause i just cant do it#cause im not gonna sit there while you blast racist music or say other bigoted shit#like ok i know why its gamer boys derogatory#but still ugh#tf2
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#bonus under the cut getting that snout facing right at the camera#camerupt#early 2000s animation cow‚ apparently. that's what someone just said about the bonus image. i honestly never understood this thing's name#i always thought it was pretty obviously a cow. but then its name implies camel. camel erupt. camerupt. is there a specific kind of#camel that just looks like a cow?? or. what. or am i just misremembering what camels look like#either way‚ i still think this pokémon is pretty cool‚ but i don't really use it ever in my own playthroughs. i don't think i *ever* have#not even in pokémon colosseum where i'm pretty sure you can get a shadow numel at some point. bc i already had a fire-type#not sure which one it was but it was definitely one of them. maybe cyndaquil? because of the dudes with the johto starters#that you fight near the beginning in pppp uuuhhh the PHENAC city i couldn't remember the name. for a second there.#i wasn't aware as a kid that their outfits corresponded to the type of the starter they had and also that you could only fight one of them#i think as a kid i was under the impression that there was only the one. for some reason i remember fighting the green one#oh wait they have the second-evos yeah. cuz he had bayleef. and the red one would've had quilava. not cyndaquil#ugh my memory is not very good evidently. i'm writing these tags after work. normally i do them right when i wake up but this time i just#do not have an excuse for not being able to remember shit. this is just on me. maybe it's amplified by the fact that i have yet to eat today#which i have a very bad habit of doing. forgetting to eat all day and not eating until like 5 and then that being my only meal for the day#i'm trynna get better about it but it is Not easy for some reason. for something that should be decidedly very simple#but my brain doesn't often let me eat until i've completed all of my silly little Tasks. so. idk. this will however post the day after i've#arrived back home from my trip which is nice. the first time future me will be sleeping in her own bed again. good luck again future me#you might need it
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Beating veilguard may genuinely get me out of my writing slump because I Need To Fix It
#dragon age#dav critical#crow rambles#sorry for only talking about what i disliked rn i swear i have quite a few things i very much liked#i unironically think that this finaly battle is one of the best in the series#even if it took what? two fucking hours lmao#DEFINITELY a step up from corphyeus#it reminded me of the battle of denerim in a way which is always a win in my book#i do wish we could control companions bc having a similar set up to denerim where you control your companions when youre split#would have been SOOO fun i kept thinking about it#however i do kinda understand not doing that in that end battle bc that was a very VERY long end quest(s)#i dont think ghilinain was the hardest boss in the game which was disappointment#okay im about to yap about spoilers in the tags so. warning yay#anyways I complete forgot about felassan's run until i beat the damn game#credits started rolling and i went “oh. i could have done that.”#i meant elgarnan. not ghilinain. ugh sorry#anyways he has nothing on ghilinain's (the actial one) three headed monster. that shit was HARD#i think i died at least seven times? minimum??#siege of weisshaupt was ALSO a particularly good quest btw even if some of the dialogue was odd#the only boss that i strugged with so badly i had to lower my difficultly was that fucking dragon in the crossroads. what the fuck is its#problem. and that was WITH the blessing of mythal getting rid of its armor. 0/10 worst fucking fight ever oml
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WHY DID NO ONE BULLY ME INTO WATCHING ALIEN STAGE BEFORE??? NO ONE REALLY?????
I HAVE BEEN KEPT AWAY FROM BLACK SORROW FOR TOO LONG. Now I have to compensate by hearing it on repeat until I get sick of it
Even if you don’t want to watch all of it (which you should) at LEAAAST give ROUND 3 a listen UEEEEGHHH
That being said ehem
LIKE A BLACK, BLACK SORROOOOOW A STORY OF SUCH WOOOOE—
#HELLO THE VOCALS??? the instrumental UGH#they are all good yeah! BUT. BLACK SOOOORROOOOOOOOWWWWWWW#OOOH HOW I LOVE IT the instrumental UGH THE SLIGHT GROWL AROUND 2:30 SOMETHING IS EVERYTHING TO ME#Mmm yeah it alligns with my taste I like this#I love all of them however I will now be singing black sorrow for a long time#ive downloaded the song already in all the places I could and added them to my playlists and liked it GODDAMN#I did so on my first listen. 30secs in and I was like yeah this is the shit#free me I’ve been listening to this for a good hour now (I can’t be stopped)#alien stage#black sorrow#alien stage black sorrow#alien stage round 4#ivan alien stage#when the doomed yuri is actually doomed moment also OHMYGOD#ruler of my heart amazing by the way also AAUGGHHH
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show: oh no this bad character's had all her powers stripped away! now she's normal and the other bad characters don't want her around anymore! how tragic! don't you feel so sorry for her?
me: ...no?
show:
show: but. she's lost all her powers! she's been abandoned!
me: she's tried to kill two people my-life-for-theirs-levels of important to the main character. presumably she has succeeded in killing other people off-screen
show: well, uh, maybe, but-
me: play stupid games, win stupid prizes
show:
me:
show: look at how sad she is-
me: yeah i'm done here
#been watching grimm with mi and the ending of this episode with adalind or however you spell her name? missed me by a mile#oh no the character who's tried to kill two people nick cares about has been stripped of her powers! she's normal and useless now!#like. sorry? i'm supposed to... sympathize? that she's as easy to kill as at least one of the people she's tried to kill? oh nooooooooooooo#have her cry onscreen? no sell. get rejected and abandoned by the other bad guys? don't give a shit#play 👏 stupid 👏 games 👏 win 👏 stupid 👏 prizes 👏#ugh#anyway#grimm#tv shows#personal#abbie needs a twitter#show doesn't fall under 'my favorite' yet but i love nick and monroe and juliette and rosalie DEARLY
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observation I have made about myself and the fixation cycle that I wanted to put into a visual form.
#ramblings#i guess the ``ugh why did it have to be THIS`` thing depends on the specific interest#like danganronpa i hid that shit from everybody until it got too much for me to keep in LMFAO#funkin i didnt necessarily try as hard to hide HOWEVER i was still super fucking nervous about developing this current fixation on it qwq#but i guess the previous two before this current one i havent been as anxious about#mob psycho 100 i know is really liked so i was super excited to be fixated on a piece of media that doesnt have a lot of detractors#and then fnaf ive been into since i was fucking 9 and i make this super clear since when im not fixated it remains a constant casual-#-interest. so theres no shame in me admitting im into something thats kinda just always there with me#soooo fucking curious what the next one is gonna be. i say that as if the second fnaf movie isnt supposed to come out#december next year so i have a ticking time bomb on my fucking ass#tho theres still enough time to where this fixation can fade and a new one kick in. so i guess we will seeeeee#im not betting on this fixation becoming one that lasts longer than a year like dgrp did but itd be nice i think
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hair too long . annoying. but also long hair makes me feel less dysphoric. cuz short hair = feminine face. what do
#my hair is like almost at my shoulder#if it reaches my shoulder it will officially be the longest it's been in like... five years?#since i chopped it in high school however long ago that was#i could just go to the bathroom right now and chop it but i don't want it to look atrocious#so i'll probably ask my mom but i've got shit to do#ugh#having hair is annoying#one day i'll bald#and that'll still be annoying but it'll be fun
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